Always the Friend...Never the Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Dear Reader,
Have you ever had a best friend that you thought of as more than a friend? Well, I do. It's sort of complicated though. I have 2 of those. One boy, and one girl. The boy I've known since like 5th grade and we're still best friends and tell each other everything about everything. He also has a crush on me, but we are both nervous about relationships so I think we'll just always be friends, but I guess I'm okay with that -_- He's a braniac in science, he's gota scar on his temple from a bullet that grazed his skin, um, he's got a mohawk, dark brown eyes, drak brown hair, loves athletics, loves to challenge other peoples intellect, he's also in 7th grade, in my school. He's confident, sweet, smart, brave, has a bad temper, good at sports, he's Ecuadorian and part Indian, and shy when it comes to girls or romance.

My girl best friend that I think of as more than a friend I actually just met this year. Even so, she's very trustworthy, kind, sweet, brave, smart, funny, attractive as hell, confident, kind of sad sometimes, can get mad easily when you now how to piss her off(and i do know), um, has brown hair, and yellow also(i think), um, hazel eyes, a cute laugh, loves sports and dancing(all types), pinches hard, she's philipino(i'm not sure how to spell it), creative, hard-working, and dependable. If you know her, then this is a dead give away...she also...LOVES NARUTO!!! Don't hate...appreciate. Don't judge people that are different! peace out to all the haters in the world!

-Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Boy Troubles...

Dear Reader,
Have you ever had boy troubles??? Well, I do and it's really complicated, well...maybe not so much. Anyway, this boy...Larry is my ex from last year, but he broke up with me and I still like him. So I still like him, but my friend also likes him, and she just met him this year. Her name is Rebecca, but I just call her Becca. So Becca likes Larry and it drives me crazy when she does because I don't really know how Larry feels about her and I really don't want them to go out. Not because I hate Becca or anything, but I still like Larry and she doesn't really care and still wants to date him and everything. That's what really pisses me off. She told me today that one of her friends was bothering her about not having a boyfriend, so she blurtted out that she has a boyfriend and that his name is Larry. When she told me I swear that I just wanted to jump through the screen of my laptop and punch her square in the fucking face!!! She knows how I feel about Larry and she doesn't seem to give a flying fuck. And the REALLY messed up part of what she told me was that she's going on a fake date with Larry to the movies and with her friend to prove it. She told me that the most that would happen is that he'd put his arm over her shoulder and she would lean on him and he'd lean back, but I think something might 'SUDDENLY' happen where she might kiss him and if she does and I find out I'm going to freaking strangle her!!! When me and Larry were still going out he gave me a necklace that's like an envelope and inside is a little letter that reads 'I Love You' in script and it's so beautiful and it's my most prized possesion in the entire world. I still wear it even now, but only at home usually. But when this break ends I'm going to wear it to school...take that Becca! He didn't get you a freaking necklace, I know I sound childish...but frankly I don't give a damn. The reason I like Larry so much is because he's different from other people completely!!! He's sweet, kind, comppasionate, handsome, generous, thoughtful, brave, smart, AND funny! It's amazing and almost unbelieveable that one single person can have so many traits. The bad thing is I'm too nervous to do anything about them if they DO get together and it's annoying and it hurts sooo much to see the person you love so much being taken right beofre your eyes and doing nothing about it, but I'm too scared and nervous! God dammit! I'm to scared to do anything and I'm no competition with Becca! She's thin, and athletic, and pretty, and I'm not and it's just not fair! Why am I always the one left out/behind!? Why am I always the one that's different and ignored!? I got to go, I'm going to curl up in a ball and die....  ='(

-Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Family...

Family is suppose to care for you when your unwell or hurting because of someone. Family is suppose to be on your side no matter what happens. Family is suppose to love you now and forever. Family are the people you can trust, and the people who trust you. Family is suppose to be there when your struggling with money, love, kids, jail, anything imaginable. So maybe it's just my family, but we don't seem to trust each other, and or help each other very much. My so-called family is completely dysfunctional in every aspect. The only thing that holds us together is love. We love each other with a burning passion. Even if we hate each other, you can still tell we love each other very much. My family has some loose ends though, such as my uncle Cristian, whom my father is his older brother and my dad thinks that I look somewhat similar to him. Uncle Cristian is in jail currently, AGAIN, even after he's been in jail twice already, he doesn't exactly have good luck, now does he? My father recently got out of the hospital, and he's on meds because his arms and hands are still hurting, he had to get a CAT-scan at the hospital and I'm still worried because I haven't seen him in a long time. My other uncle, whom is my moms brother, his name is Angel, he found out his wife was cheating on him and she left and their kid with her. My grandma had some connection to what was going on and got some clues as to where she was and who the guy was and kept it from uncle Angel. You could say my family is dysfunctional and you'd be right, but you can't say we don't love each other dearly, even with our strong differences. And I'll finish off by saying that family is very important to me and that no matter what situation whether if your in jail, or your wife cheated and left, or your ill or unwell, my family is most loving and most dysfunctional family in the world and no one can change or denie it.

Love,
Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

I can't keep my own secrets!!!

Dear Reader,
I've recentley read the book 'I can't keep my own secrets' and I thought it was excellent!!! :) It's basically a book filled with lots and lots of 6-word memiors by random people who sent it to the original website with thier names and was chosen to put into the book. I like the book so much because there are so many different versions of peoples lives in the book. It's interesting to see different points of view from totally different people all around the world. My favorite memior stated 'Fake smiles. Hidden Tears. Real laughs'. The reason I like that memior the most is because it is so similar to how I am. I smile just to reasure people that I'm okay, even if I'm hurting deep down inside. Hidden tears because I try really hard not to cry in front of others, only by myself because my goal isn't to make others sad, it's to live, and I try hard not to show weakness because I don't want to be hurt by anyone. Real laughs is because I really do love to laugh and no one I think can fake a laugh no matter how hard you try to, when you laugh, it has to be for real and that's always how I laugh, I've never had to fake a laugh because when I think something is funny, it just is and I don't have to fake anything, because when I laugh, I laugh for real. Therefore that particular quote directly applies to me, it may seem sad, but it's true and I don't mind it much, but once in a while when I'm drifting into my sub-concious I think about this quote and I'm shocked back into reality nd think about all the wonderful things I have and all the wonderful people that I have met over the years and I'm happy how things have turned out so far and I wouldn't change any of it for the whole wide world!!! ^_^ I love my life and every single person I've ever met or not!!! <3 I hope everyone finds there perfect lives. With the perfect friends, family, parents, and someday eventually kids, and or grandchildren. But until then, just deal with it...that's what I do, and I know it'll pay off, and if not, who cares, I think my life is as perfect as it will ever get and I'm perfectlyfine with that! C ya everyone! Enjoy your lives to the fullest and always try your best!

-Love,
       Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Diary Entry #5

Dear Diary,
Today was an awesome day! Afterschool I was totally pissed that I couldn't ride my bike, but it got better when I got to the park with my friends, but then one of my friends got hurt. we took care of him and got him back on his feet. He ended up with a sprained wrist, some scratches on his right arm, and a slit on his temple. I felt so bad for him, we did all we could do, we are only 12 and 13 year old's after all. Hope you feel better Alejandro!!! :) Anyway, I had a lot of fun, thankfully...I was prepared and stuff so I was really happy! I can't wait! This week is a vacation from school so I'll have lots of chances to hang out with my friends, and the only bad part is all the freaking homework that my teachers assagined! :( No fair! What's the point of calling it a vacation when we still freaking have homework! Bored at home right now. The current time is 10:12pm. Just sitting in my room writing this diary entry. Watching '50 First Dates' and it's both funny and sad, I love this freaking movie!!! <3  ^-^ Well I'm going to start my vacation homework right now because I want to relax during the week when I want to hang out with my friends. :) Bye!!!

-LOVE,
       Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Friends are reliable!!!

Dear Diary,
Today I went to the park afterschool and when the guys were playing manhunt, my friend tripped and scrapped the side of his temple and as the blood gushed out I had already began to take out my medical supplies I carry with me. I took out my pocket knife, my gause, my bandage wraps, my water and I took out my sweater from my bookbag. It might not seem like much but it did help...a lot! First I dunk the sleeve of my already red "thing 2" sweater in my water bottle and dabbed at his cut and blood surrounding his temple. My friend ran to his house across the street to get bandaids. While he was gone I was sitting with my hurt friend comforting him and appying water to his cuts and gash on his temple. When my friend brought back the bandaids, we put one over the gash and the many cuts on his right hand. I then wrapped his hand and we got ice for his swollen wrist, that was obviously sprained and brought him to a nearby bench to sit on(he was laying on the floor where he fell while we aided to his wounds). When we got to the bench we handed him a water bottle to replenish lost blood cells. He wanted to lay down so i put my now bloody sweater into my bag and put it underneath his head. He started shivering so we covered him with his jacket(he couldn't move his right arm so we helped him drink water and put the jacket atop him). We just sat there talking while his shivering got worse until he sat up to drink more water and we assisted him putting another ANOTHER of his jackets and his winter hat. Little by little we all had to go home, but that was an okay day, for everyone but our friend who got seriously ingured. I'm going to check in on him tomorrow and see how he's doing, so wish me luck!

Cooking!!!

I want to learn to cook so badly!!! I want to learn from my mother and everything! I've found some really healthy recipies from the show cook yourself thin and I've made a shopping list and everything so I'mready to go and my mother is going to help me so I'll get to bond with my mom and learn to cook at the same time. Just one problem...I'm afraid to burn or vut myself in the process, but we've all got to get over our fears some time or another! :) I'm 13 years old now and I've got to get over it. I got this!!! My mom has gotten burned many times and I guess it's my turn to get my fair share of burns as well -laugh- I'm both scared and happy! Is that wierd??? I'm making Sweet and sour pork chops, garlicky fries and chocolate cake with my mother... I can't wait!!! Wish me luck!!! I'll let you know how it turns out. I don't exactly know when we are making the stuff, but I'll let you know as soon as I do.

-G-Wizzi!!!

A Typical Life...

Hey Everyone,
Just my typical life as a 13 year old girl who's in 7th grade with crazy friends and family who are loving and caring, which isn't so likley for a spanish family, -laugh- I love everyone, most of the time, sometimes I just want to left alone to think and breathe. Even though I'm nowhere close to being an adult yet, I wonder what it's like to have a job and raise kids and have a spouse. So many questions, but none of the answers. :( One thing I hate about being only 13 years old is how people treat you like you're 5 years old. It get's really annoying sometimes especially when people who are younger than you treat you like a baby!>:( My mother has always tried very hard to make our lives better in any way possible and she's a really considerate mather and anyone would be lucky to have her as a mother. I just got lucky and got her instead of anyone else! ^_^ My older sister, Stefany is very nice; when she wants to be. She can be very mean if you tick her off, but who isn't, the difference between her and me is that when she's at home she doesn't care what she says to anyone, not even our mom. Since she does that a lot...she gets yelled at quite a bit. I feel bad somtimes, but sometimes she deserves it. I'm glad of the people in my life and I wouldn't change them for the world!!! :)

Can You?

Dear Reader,
Has someone ever asked you,"Can I play with this? Can I go to the bathroom? Can I drink water? Can i have some of that? Can I do this? Can I do that?" Well to those people who ask those idiotic questions...I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. CAN YOU? They ask all these questions as if they can't do them already, I don't know about other people but can't you drink water, and use the bathroom, and play with stuff, and do this and do that? Are you arms and or legs broken or something!? THE ANSWER IS YES YOU CAN!!! Stop asking "can I..." and speak properly "may I..." and if you do ask that question, make sure it makes sense alright? If there's is one thing I've learned in my life it's to say "may I...". My grandmother taught me when i was about 6 years old that when someone asks "Can I go to the bathroom?" that youshoud know thw answer to that, shouldn't you? Unless you can't, but that's highly unlikley. When i was 6 years old I asked my grandmother if I could go to the bathroom, she responded, "I don't know...can you?"

I said, "Yeah, but may i go to the bathroom?" and of couse she said yes, unless she would've wanted a yellow stain on the floor, -laugh- I learned from then on that you should never ask a question starting with "can I..." unless you know it makes sense, so show some intelligence and don't ask stupid questions like that okay? 

Who Do They Think The Are!?!?

Dear people of the world,
I don't really get the concept of "figure" if you know what I mean, because if they are beautiful/handsome to you then what the hell should it even matter what other people say or even think, screw them, who are they to judge other people. You want to know why others judge...it's because they feel insecure about themselves, if someone comes up to you and makes fun of you, you already know they feel bad about themsleves and that they are just doing this senseless act of verbal bullying to try and make themsleves feel better...when really making themsleves feel even worse because now they KNOW they hurt someone else, how they would NEVER want to be hurt. Think before you speak...and before you act as well.

Sincerely,
          Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Feelings...

Dear people of the world,
What is it about someone that attracts you? What is it? Their personality, their eyes, their smile, their looks, their body, their laugh, their brains, their creativness, their kindess, their uniqueness, what exactly draws you to a person? Is it maybe because they are somehow like you? What exactly does love mean? What does it mean to you?

Sicerely,
          Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Friends are...

Friends are people that you can depend on in hard times. Friends are people who help you through the tough times. Friends are the peoplewho encourage you to do better, whether it's at school or just anytime you need it. Friends are people who are considerate of your feelings. Friends are people who will agree to disagree with you. Friends are those important people in your life that help you through heartbreak. Friends are the people who mean the most to you, even more than your own family. Friends are the people who's shoulders you can cry on. Friends are the people who you can confess anything and everything to. Friends are the people who come to you for advice and you to them as well. Friends are the people who comfort you always and forever. Friends are the people who will never turn you down in your time of need. Friends are the type of people who keep secrets and who can share their own with you, now matter how embarrasing, unless it's too uncomfortable for you and or them. Friends are the people who were, are and always will the there for you. I don't have a friend like that yet, but I'm searching in the hopes that one day i will find that person that i can truly call a friend.

LOVE,
     Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Diary Entry #4

Dear Diary,
i have to do a science fair project but i have so freaking ideo what so ever to do it on!!! what should i do? and i dont have a partner, even though i really want one, but a responsible one that wont leave me stuck doing all the work in the end right before the deadline of the due date of the project. i dont know what the hell to do anymore!!! :( WAH!!! WAH!!! WAH!!! dammit! looks like i'll have to search online for ideas for a science fair project and stuff! okay, time to get down to buisness, my mom is even buying my presentation board this weekend, and i havent even started to make a question, or topic or anything! :( WAH!!! WAH!!! WAH!!! WAH!!!

-love,
       Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Diary Entry #3

Dear Diary,
Do you ever feel sador depressed like you hate everyone, even ur closest friends and even family? thats's how i fekt today, like i just wanted to freaking slit my wrists and get it over with so i could go in to an eternal slumber, never to awaken. when i get sad i get angry, when i get angry i get violent, when i get violent people or myslef get hurt, and i dont like to hurt people, and i wouldnt want to wish that on anyone so plz dont be like me...dont be mad, try to stay positive and keep moving foward, onward and upward! Today started good, then was a total hell hole, then ok, but now its great! all's well that ends well! ^-^ i'm glad i have such good friends and family that are reliable, resposible;for the most part, loving, and carefree! see y'all next time partner!!!

-love,
      Gabrielle Nicole Lopez

Diary Entry #2

Dear Diary,
Today was an okay day...besides all the crying i did. i had fun today, i got halseyite of the month, but that was about the only fun part. the rest of my day...in truth freaking sucked! i thought my friend was ignoring and neglecting me so i was really depressed throughout the day, i got utterly screamed at by the school librarian, whom i help at lunch, and i hated being in gym when i was sooo depressed so i didnt have fun that much. towards the end of school i told my friend that i thought was ignoring me why i was so upset and she told me the reason she was acting like that was because of someone that wanted them to sit with her so she did, as a result leaving me alone and sad. but she explained everything and the day turned out ok! :D I guess my day didnt trun out as bad as i thought and i still get to see the look on my mothers face when i show her the haleyite letter. i was bawling in library at lunch, because i felt like i was utterly alone, i just wanted to curl up in a ball and die...literally. i was saying things to myself like, "Why does this always happen to me? Why can i have a normal life? why is it always me? why this and why that...and sulk,sulk,sulk -sigh- jeez. sometimes i can really be a crybaby, not that anyone has seen me cry besides nia, but i'm ok with that because she's like my sister. And joelle, but today was the first time ever that she saw me cry, and it was by accident because i lifted my head from the table when i heard footsteps, thinking it would be the librarian. well...all in all today was somewhat dramatastic, but ok so i'll take it ans to top it all off, my mom was so happy when she read my haleyite letter!!! ^_^ adios! 

-love,
       Gabrielle Nicole Lopez
         Age:13 Sex:Female
          Blood type:????
      Life Motto: Never give up
       without a fight!!! ^_^

Diary Entry #1

Dear Diary,
Hey everyone! I'm only 13, so it may not seem that I might not have many problems, but I actually have a lot of problems. I have always had to take care of myself, by myself, all the time. Either because my mom wasn't around or busy and my older sister just didn't like to take care of me because after all, she's only 4 1/2 years older than me so when I was 1 year old, she was about 5 years old. Even so, it has made me a stronger person and taught me never to rely on anyone besides myself. In some ways that's good/bad. Good because then I won't be dissapointed, but bad because then when I work on something wiht someone then I want to do everything myself and it's kind of annoying. I love to sing and dance and even act, the problem is that I can't really dance unless I'm taught moves, and as for acting and singing I have a henious case of stage fright...so not fair! Even so, when I'm singing on stage it's not so bad because I have the comfort of seeing people smiling at me and enjoying me music. I love to see people smile so it's perfect for me, and i've loved singing ever since I was little, my favorite kid singer was Annie, but now it's Jennifer Lopez, because if she can make;and she's a Lopez, then I'll make it as well!!! ^_^ Also there is George Lopez, and he's hilarious and i'm good at cracking jokes too,so that's totally awesome! I love being with my friends and making them constantly laugh, it's really quite fun and interesting to see how they'd react to a joke and stuff. I love my family dearly, I both a step-mother and step-father. My parents broke up when I was a 1 year old so I didn't really get to exaclty live a happily-ever-after live style with my mother and father. Because of that my sister was even worse because she was about 5 years old at the time and growing up with a mother and father for 5 years and then suddenly having them split up isn't exactly a good memory to have. I have a half-brother, Michael, who's turning 9 years old in April and my older sister, Stefany, is turning 18 years old in May. My younger half-brother, Michael, is the son of my father and step-mother; Selene Innes. I don't call my younger brother Michael my half-brother though, I treat him as just my regular brother, even if he was born from the evil witch named Selene! My father's name is Juan Lopez, and my mother's name is currently Michelle Dowd. It used to be Michelle Torres, but she married my step-father, Michael Benjamin Dowd. He's very kind and loves sports just like me so we get along just fine and he's very nice to my mother as well so I'm on good terms with him, I can't say the same for Selene though. :( There is one more thing I have to say, I'm bisexual, and if anyone has a freaking problem with that then screw you!!! We are people too and we deserve to be treated equal...anyone who says differently can go to hell!!! >:( We all get along with you, and have to deal with you, so just deal with us and stay out of our way...got it!?

-Love your crazy buddy,
                       Gabrielle Nicole Lopez
                        Age:13  Sex:Female
                         Blood type:?????
                      Life Motto: Never give up
                       without a fight!!! ^_^